Two Teenage Girls and a Horrible Cook
by Thecrazyblondchick4
Summary: When Alice and Amy are left under England's care, anything can go wrong. A joyful oc adventure.
1. Ice Cream

I do not own the hetalia characters and animedragon88 owns Alice. Enjoy!

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"No way! We are not staying with him!" Alice yelled at her boss while Amy glared intimidatingly at her own. Only five minutes beforehand, the two thirteen year-olds had been informed they were being watched by England, who was not only terrible with kids, but a horrible cook as well. "What? Why me?" England exclaimed. His boss had also just informed him he was responsible for the two teenage girls.

"It's in our best interest for future alliances when they become more powerful," replied England's boss, "Besides, it's not safe for them to be alone." England muttered a curse in defeat as he left for the apartment the girls had been staying in temporarily.

England soon arrived at the apartment complex. He entered the building and quickly made his way up the stairs. 'Room 42. That's where they're staying' he reminded himself. England knocked on the door. "Hello?" a voice called out. "Hello, I'm England. I was just informed I will be your caretaker for the next few months," he said. "Sorry, we aren't ready yet. You can come in. It's unlocked," a female voice replied. England cautiously opened the door. "Crap!" a voice shouted from upstairs, "I can't find my iPod!" "Remember, you left it on the fan," answered the female voice from before. "Thanks! When is the one guy getting here?" questioned the voice from upstairs. "He's already here, Amy, so shut up and keep packing. I'm already done."

England had begun to look around as a girl with bright blue eyes walked into the room. She had mid-back length, blonde hair with purple bangs and tips. "What are you doing?" she questioned. "Sorry, I was just looking around," England sheepishly replied. "It's fine. I'm Alice." England extended his hand. "No physical contact with strangers," Alice sang. 'This is going to be a long few months,' he thought.

Upstairs, a girl was packing two matching blue suitcases. Downstairs, England and Alice heard a scream then a crash. The girl and her suitcases tumbled to the bottom of the stairs, ending with a thud. She had green eyes and messy blonde hair with black bangs and tips. "Amy, get up!" Alice reprimanded, " Now hand over all concealed weapons." 'Why would she need to check for weapons' thought England. In less than a minute, Amy had given up a pocketknife, 3 lighters, a dagger, and a stun gun. "Your turn," Amy said with an outstretched hand. Just when England thought he could not be anymore worried for the next few months, Alice handed over a can of mace, 8 lighters, a pocketknife, and 2 canisters of lighter fluid.

"Let's go!" Amy giggled as she ran out of the apartment with her suitcases in tow. Alice sighed and took after Amy. After registering that he had been ditched in an apartment, England ran after them. Out of breath, England paused outside of the building's doors. "Can you unlock the car?" Alice asked. She and Amy were sitting on their luggage behind his car. "Bloody hell!" England exclaimed, "Under no circumstances are you allowed to make me run up or down flights of stairs." Pulling his keys out of his jacket pocket, he glared at the girls. "Hey, Alice?" "What?" "Do you know what this calls for?" "I'm pretty sure." "Shall we?" "We shall?"

With that, the girls darted down the street leaving a stunned Englishman. "I can't believe we got away that easily!" laughed Amy. "How could he trust us so quickly?" Alice replied giggling. The girls continued dashing down the street. However, England's car was close on their heels. "Keeping running!" Alice screamed increasing her speed. The girls turned the corner. It was a dead end. "Oh shit!" Amy cried. It was all over. England had already grabbed them by their collars with a scowl. Alice smiled weakly.

"That was unacceptable behavior. You could have been kidnapped or hit by a car. You two are my responsibility so I refuse to have you disrespect me," England lectured as they drove to his flat. His rant continued for most of the car ride until he stopped and the car became silent. "We're sorry," Alice whispered as both of the girls' heads dropped. "I suppose it must be strange and unsettling to go live with someone you don't know. I'll let it go this time, but don't do it again or there will be consequences," England sighed, "I hope I made myself clear." Amy and Alice nodded.

"Sorry about putting you through that," Amy said. Both girls looked out the windows guiltily. "So as you know, I'm England. In public, you can call me Arthur Kirkland. Are you okay with telling me your human names and personifications?" England asked. "I'm Alice as you already know and I'm the personification of the Atlantic Ocean." "And I think you already know this, but I'm Amy and I'm the personification of the Artic and Antarctic oceans," sang Amy.

"Sorry if this is weird," Alice said, "but if we're out in public and someone asks why we're with you, what do we say?" England froze. "Siblings?" Amy thought aloud, "Cousins? Nieces? Children?" "Let's just go with nieces," Alice stated, "We don't look enough like you to be your children or siblings and nieces makes more sense than cousins." "Sure," England replied, "We'll go with nieces." The car grew silent once again and soon Alice and Amy had fallen asleep in the backseat. England sighed. If he had trouble raising America, just one young boy, how could he handle two hyperactive, teenage girls? And they were personifications.

He would have to take them to world conferences. What if they ran off and the Bad Touch Trio or Russia found them? Worse. What if America found them? The girls stirred in the backseat. "Die, turtle!" Amy screamed in her sleep and accidentally kicked Alice in the face as she switched sleeping positions. "What the frog?" yelled Alice shooting up in her seat. "What the frog? Seriously, Alice?" Amy lectured sarcastically. "You kicked me in the face! What am I supposed to say? Kind Amy, thank you for gracing my face with the presence of your beautiful shoe!" Alice mocked.

"Girls!" England shouted, "I'm already having trouble watching both of you without your bickering!" "Can we get ice cream?" Amy pleaded. Alice face-palmed, " You think he would take us after we annoyed him?" "That actually sounds like a good idea. There's a place a few streets over," England replied. Amy was awestruck. "We might actually be able to get along," Alice giggled. England chuckled. "I want mint!" "Chocolate! No! Chocolate fudge! No-" Maybe there was hope.


	2. Godzilla's Lizard Shins

I do not own any of the Hetalia characters and animedragon88 owns Alice. Enjoy!

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"Girls, wake up!" England yelled for the fifth time. After they had gone out for ice cream and a squirrel chased Amy up a tree, England drove the girls home and showed them their rooms. They were right to each other and right across from England's room. Amy's was dark blue with white furniture and Alice's was dark purple with black furniture. Back to the present, England was frustrated due to the fact the girls still had not gotten up. He calmly sprinted up the stairs and harshly knocked on Amy's door. A minute passed and there was no response. England entered the room and saw Amy still sound asleep, hugging a pillow.

"Amy, wake up!" England exclaimed, trying to shake the blonde awake. She bolted straight up and jumped out of bed. "Where's the fire?!" "There is no fire. It's time to get up." Amy nodded and shooed him out of the room. England then walked over to Alice's door and knocked gingerly. No response. He cautiously entered the room. There was no one in the bed. He checked under the bed, in the closet, and in the bathroom. Still no sign of Alice. He was beginning to worry. What if one of the other countries took here? "Bloody hell," England muttered. He dashed out of the room, down the hall, and down the stairs. He checked every room except the kitchen.

There was Alice. At the stove. Making pancakes. "Hey! I made pancakes." England let out a frustrated sigh. "Pancakes!" Amy squealed as she skipped to the kitchen table. "Did you know Captain Kirk was looking for you?" "Who?" questioned Alice. Amy pointed dramatically at England. "Oh! Sorry!" exclaimed Alice, "I like to cook breakfast." "Yep, and I make dinner," Amy added. England nodded and changed the subject, "Today, we have to leave for a world meeting. When we get there, you cannot wander off at all. Not even for a second."

"Why?" Alice inquired. "There are multiple people I want you to avoid." "Okay!" the girls responded. "So, where exactly are we going?" Alice asked. "We're going to America's house since the bloody git insists on everyone staying with him." "Is he the obnoxious one boss told us about?" Amy thought aloud. England chuckled. "Yes," he continued, "You need to be ready in one hour so I suggest you start packing now." And with that, the two teens raced up the stairs and the slamming of doors rang throughout the house.

For the next sixty minutes, Alice and Amy tore apart the luggage they had packed the previous day and commenced the packing process. In Alice's case, that meant throwing her iPod, candy, notebooks, clothes, and a pillow into a Vocaloid bag and putting on her most comfortable sweats. For Amy, that meant parading around in her pajamas with a stuffed snake wrapped around her neck like a scarf for a good thirty minutes, then grabbed her essentials and stuffed them into a Soul Eater bag. Soon, England had loaded both them and their belongings into the car. "Oh my gosh!" Alice giggled, collapsing into her seat, "I had way to many gummy worms before we left!" "This is going to be a beautiful trip!" Amy shrieked, throwing her hands into the air for no apparent reason. England groaned and closed his eyes for a second. This was going to be a long, long, long trip.

For the entire trip, the girls slept, loudly sang off-key, or annoyed the crap out of England. Finally, the car reached the airport, the trio passed through security, and they boarded the plane. Many hours of dealing with annoying children and more sleeping later, the plane landed in Washington D.C. The girls, although having slept through most of the day, were exhausted by the time they all piled into the taxi. England was all nerves by then. In less than four hours, the girls would be fully conscious and surrounded by the other personifications. He had already lost the two of them once and that was within five minutes of them being in his custody.

"I'm tired," mumbled Amy as she leaned onto England's shoulders. He froze. "Me, too." Alice muttered, leaning onto Amy. England could not push them off even if he tried. The taxi driver glanced back and chuckled. When they reached the United Nations building, England tried to shake the girls awake. "What?" Amy mumbled. Alice, on the other hand, bolted straight up and shouted, "Godzilla, I will kick you in your huge, lizard shins!" England sighed as the taxi driver let out a hearty laugh.


End file.
